SITTING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS
A practice of awareness, acknowledgement, and acceptance
Have you ever heard the phrase ‘sit with your emotions’, be it in conversation, on social media, or as a passing remark in a movie? If yes, you might have asked yourself ‘what does that actually mean?’. You’re not alone! It’s a phrase that sounds both self-explanatory and yet incredibly vague at the same time. Essentially, it’s a practice of acknowledging, exploring, and accepting your emotions, rather than trying to push them away or bury them deep inside. Like with any practice, it can be challenging to implement. So let’s break it down into three simple steps that can help you ease into it:
- ACKNOWLEDGMENT: NAME IT – In order to truly understand and explore the emotions we’re feeling, we need to practice being able to identify them. Giving things a name can help you notice it in the present movement, and connect with it in relation to the current context we’re experiencing it in. Emotions can often be considered abstract, but assigning it a name that best explains the sensation makes it more tangible and able to be spoken about and engaged with. So the next time you start feeling something, ask yourself: what am I feeling? Is it sadness? Frustration? Fear? If you struggle with finding the right words to describe the feeling, you might consider using an emotions wheel to help you:
- AWARENESS: LOCATE IT IN YOUR BODY – Being in touch with bodily sensations is a really powerful way of acknowledging and exploring emotions. Pinpoint where the discomfort or uneasiness is coming from and be curious about it. Some people feel anxiety in the pit of their stomachs, others feel anger like electricity pulsing through their veins. Being aware of where the sensation manifests can also help eventually regulate the emotion. Ask yourself “where is this feeling in my body?” “what part of my body feels this emotion first” “does it move anywhere else?” “how does the rest of my body respond to this emotion?”
- ACCEPTANCE: ALLOW THE FEELING TO EXIST – This is something many of us struggle with, and rightfully so. When we feel uncomfortable emotions, it is normal to want to ‘fix’ them. To distract and avoid them or find a way to solve them. We do eventually want to come to a point where we can regulate the emotion and make it less overwhelming. However, this does not necessarily need to happen immediately. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to first allow the emotion to exist. Without fixing it, changing it, or trying to make it go away. Give yourself a moment to just let the emotion be. This involves integrating the previous two tips with some added self-compassion and grace. Saying to yourself “I feel jealousy and shame right now. I feel it in the way my heart is beating really quickly and in the tremble of my hands. It is okay to feel this way right now”. By doing this, you give permission to yourself to exist within the authentic human experience you’re having, and you leave room for curiosity around where these feelings are coming from. This curiosity can eventually lead to figuring out how to manage the emotions, but for now, it allows you the grace to feel rather than respond immediately.
Why is this important though? What does sitting with our emotions actually accomplish? Well, it helps us slow down, take a moment, and reflect thoughtfully on what might be happening for us. This can limit the likelihood of reacting impulsively, self-blaming, or emotionally numbing. Emotions are such a pivotal part of the human experience, and learning to sit with them and meaningfully explore them can lead to greater understanding of one’s self, and others. When we become more aware and in touch with our emotions, we eventually learn how to navigate emotions in social interactions and interpersonal relationships as well. In this way, we start operating with more awareness, empathy, and a sense of curiosity.
If you struggle with sitting with your emotions, you may find value in exploring this in therapy. This can make the process feel less daunting. Please feel free to reach out for a session with me below.