Know a Narc?
Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of terms such as narcissists and narcissism being used more often in magazines, pop culture and social media. It appears these terms are becoming more common in everyday language and conversation. Other terms and phrases related to narcissism are also becoming more common. Examples of these include gaslighting and Love-Bombing. Since these terms are all around us, I thought about discussing them in our weekly blog.
Firstly: What is a Narc and Narcissism?
To begin, let’s explore and define what narcissism is and is not. Narcissism, both as a word and concept can be described as the excessive interest and admiration of oneself. In psychology, narcissism can be seen as a behaviour, personality trait or —at its most extreme —form a psychological disorder.
The term narcissism or narcissist seems to invoke negative connotations. Perhaps one thinks of someone gazing at their own reflection or acting in an utterly selfish manner. However, it is better to think about narcissism on a spectrum. On one side, an individual may be described as humble or modest. In the middle, a certain amount of narcissism can be healthy. At its extreme, narcissism can form a psychological diagnosis.
Narc is a popular term used on social media, websites, and blogs to describe narcissistic individuals. For simplicity, I’ll use narc in this post to refer to individuals who display more pronounced narcissism. This post is not intended to diagnose or pathologise anyone; our weekly blog is simply a discussion of psychological concepts.
Anyone can act narcissistically from time to time. I’m sure it may not be hard to think of a time when you or someone close to you may have acted in this sort of way. On the other hand, narcs often appear to have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, lack of empathy towards others, believing they or their abilities are superior to others. They may also seek admiration and may feel others are envious of them. Other behaviour often associated with narcissists includes arrogance and/or a sense of entitlement.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be painful. At first, a narcissist may seem perfect—perhaps even dreamy. However, as the relationship progresses, cracks may appear. Narcissists can be manipulative, lack empathy and can be abusive. However, during the relationship, it may not be obvious what is happening. It can be difficult to see the bigger picture while still in the relationship. Often people may only see what was going on after someone else points it out or the is a break in the relationship. Even relationships with a narc outside of romance—such as between an employer-employee, a parent-child, or within friendships—can be deeply hurtful.
Secondly, What are some terms related to a narc/narcissism?
Online and in literature, there is a wide variety of terms associated with narcissists. Although not all of these terms are academic in nature, they can be useful in identifying and understanding these behaviours. I consulted several websites and academic sources to define some of these terms. Here’s what I found:
- Breadcrumbing: Feigning interest in someone to appear engaged, despite lacking genuine interest (Reiser, 2024)
- DARVO (Deny, Attack. Reverse Victim and Offender): A tactic in which a perpetrator denies their behaviour, attacks or discredits the victim, and portrays themselves as the victim (Freyd, 1997). This can be seen as a type of gaslighting.
- Future-faking: Making false promises about a future in order to manipulate an individual, without delivering on these promises (Morningstar, 2017; Reiser, 2024)
- Hoovering: A tactic to suck someone back in after a period of separation (Durvasula, 2024; Reiser, 2024). For example, texting an apology after a period of no contact
- Gaslighting: An attempt to make someone doubt their own reality. This may involve subtly undermining another’s experiences, memories, or perceptions (Darke et al., 2025; Durvasula, 2024; Reiser, 2024).
- Love-Bombing: Over-the-top displays of affection designed to draw someone in, followed by a phase of devaluation characterized by control and manipulation (Beri, 2024; Cleveland Clinic, 2023; Reiser, 2024).
Narcissists rarely seek psychotherapy. Part of the issue is that they see themselves as perfect. However, there are psychotherapies available for them. More often, it is those affected by narcissists—partners, family members, or colleagues—who seek therapy. Being around a narcissist can be emotionally draining or damaging. Being around an individual with narcissism that reaches the threshold of a diagnosis can be abusive and traumatic. I have left some of my references below should you wish to learn more about Narcs. If you’d like to learn more or find out about therapy, please give us at Thrive Psychology call.
Steven Levitas
Cleveland Clinic. (2023). What Is Love Bombing. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing
Darke, L., Paterson, H., & van Golde, C. (2025). Illuminating Gaslighting: A Comprehensive Interdisciplinary Review of Gaslighting Literature. Journal of Family Violence, 1-17.
Durvasula, R. (2024). It’s not you: identifying and healing from narcissistic people. Random House.
Freyd, J.J. (1997) Violations of power, adaptive blindness, and betrayal trauma theory. Feminism & Psychology, 7, 22-32.
Morningstar, D. (2017). Start here: A crash course in understanding, navigating, and healing from narcissistic abuse. Morningstar Media