How to Help Your Child Cope with Exams: A Gentle Parent’s Guide

As exam season rolls in, it can be hard to know exactly how to help your child. You want to encourage them, reduce their stress, and make sure they’re doing their best, but without pushing too hard or walking on eggshells. So how do you find the balance?

Well, the truth is, your presence, patience, and perspective can make all the difference. Here’s a gentle guide and some tips to support your child (and yourself) through exam season:

1. Set the Tone at Home

Create a calm and structured environment where your child feels supported, not pressured.

• Try to keep routines predictable and household stress low.
• Offer a quiet, clutter-free space to study.
• Be mindful of how you talk about exams. Phrases like “just do your best” go much further than “you have to do well.”

Remember: Your emotional tone often becomes their internal voice. Also, your child is likely already putting a lot of pressure on themselves.

2. Help Them Plan, Without Taking Over

It’s tempting to micromanage (think: “I’ve been through this, I can help”), but your child will benefit more from learning how to organise themselves, with your guidance. We all need to find our own rhythm and what works for us.

• Help them break down their study material into manageable pieces.
• Encourage the use of planners, whiteboards, or even apps to track progress (and keep it realistic).
• Encourage breaks, movement, and fun (your brain can only soak up so much at a time, right?)
• Check in occasionally, not constantly.

Tip: Ask “How can I support you right now?” instead of “Have you studied enough?”.

3. Prioritise Rest, Food & Movement

The basics really do matter during high-stress times.

• Make sure your child gets enough sleep, late-night cramming can backfire.
• Offer balanced meals and healthy snacks (but don’t stress if they reach for a bit of comfort food – we all do that).
• Encourage short breaks, walks, or even five minutes of stretching to reset their brain.

 What happens when we’re tired?

Let’s break down the importance of rest even when there’s SO much content to get through

When your brain is fatigued from studying, it’s like trying to squeeze water from a sponge that’s already dry. You might be able to push through and “do” the studying, but the quality of your focus, memory, and understanding drops significantly.

Here’s what happens when your brain is tired:

• Concentration declines: you find yourself rereading the same line over and over.
• Memory weakens: new information doesn’t stick as well.
• Irritability increases: small things start to feel overwhelming.
• Mistakes become more frequent: your brain isn’t processing as clearly.

So what should you do instead?

Take a real break

Step away completely. No scrolling, no “productive rest.” Go for a walk, lie down, eat, nap, breathe. It’s also helpful for your eyes to be given a chance to rest.

Use short bursts later

When you return, try short, focused study sessions (e.g. 25 minutes with a 5-minute break—Pomodoro style). This can help re-engage your mind without overloading it.

Focus on reviewing, not learning

If you must do something while fatigued, shift to lighter tasks like reviewing flashcards or organising notes rather than tackling difficult concepts.

Sleep is study too

Consolidation of memory happens during sleep (thank you cognitive neuroscience). Sometimes the best “study session” is a nap or a full night’s rest.

Therefore,It’s more productive to rest and come back refreshed than to keep going on mental fumes. Studying well isn’t about doing more – it’s about doing it when your brain is most ready to take it in.

4. Look Out for Signs of Burnout

Some stress is normal, but watch for signs it’s becoming too much:

• Changes in mood: Your child may show more irritability, have mood swings, increased frustration or emotional outbursts over things that seem small. This is usually their way of expressing internal pressure.
• Changes in appetite: Some children may lose their appetite, while others may turn more to comfort food. Stress impacts eating habits.
• Sleep difficulties: Stress often has a way of showing up a night, even if your child seems fine during the day. Are they having trouble falling asleep, waking up often, or having nightmares?
• Avoidance, shutting down, or physical complaints (like headaches or tummy aches).
• Harsh self-talk or a sense of hopelessness.

If you notice these, it’s okay to step in gently, and if needed, consider getting professional support.

5. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Outcomes

Exams come and go, but the way your child feels about themselves during this time can stick around.

• Praise progress, commitment, and courage.
• Remind them that mistakes are part of learning.
• Let them know their worth isn’t tied to their grades.

 Long after the exam is forgotten, the memory of how you showed up for them will stay.

Final Thought

In times of stress, children look to the adults around them to help regulate their nervous systems. Your calm presence, predictable support, and emotional availability provide a sense of safety that allows their brains to focus, learn, and rest. Exam season is not just about performance. It’s a chance to model resilience, encourage self-worth beyond achievement, and strengthen your connection. That kind of support doesn’t just get them through exams – it shapes how they relate to themselves for years to come.

Remember to take care of yourself too – you’re juggling your own stress while trying to support theirs. That’s no small thing.