A Series on Parenting and Special Educational Needs:  The Journey Begins

Receiving the news that your child has a special educational need can feel overwhelming. You may feel a flood of intense and complex emotions, ranging from anxiety, guilt, helplessness, and isolation to even having feelings of relief. It is completely normal to have these feelings, as many parents grapple with the uncertainty of what lies ahead for their child. In South Africa, the term “special educational need” is used to refer to any individual who requires specific attention because of learning difficulties, emotional and behavioural difficulties, mental or cognitive disorders, physical disabilities, or medical conditions, such as Cerebral Palsy or Down Syndrome. It is important to know that special educational needs occur on a spectrum, meaning that while two individuals may have the same diagnosis, the level of support that they require may differ significantly.

When your child is identified as having difficulties or experiences a special educational need, you may experience a range of complex emotions, including, shock, denial, worry, guilt, confusion, and even grief. These feelings often arise because parents are concerned about their child’s future, and their ability to protect their child from society’s views of disabilities. Sometimes, parents may blame themselves or feel as if they have failed, especially when they feel powerless to help their child due to limited information or resources. Feelings of isolation may also emerge when others, including friends and family, struggle to fully understand the child’s difficulties.

It is also essential to recognize that parents go through a process similar to grieving when they learn about their child’s diagnosis. There may be a sense of loss, in terms of the loss of the future they had imagined for their child. This process is natural and does not mean that parents love their child any less, instead, it helps parents adjust to their new reality and move forward.

Supporting a child who experiences a special educational need can be both challenging and emotionally taxing. Many children require additional and ongoing support from Speech Therapists, Occupational Therapists, and Physiotherapists. During these times, it is crucial for parents to lean on their support networks, including family, friends, and professional resources, such as personal therapy or parental support groups. Seeking help for themselves is just as important as helping their child, as it allows them to build resilience and continue providing the best care possible. After all, it takes a village to raise a child.

However, it is equally important to acknowledge that raising a child who experiences special educational needs is not solely about facing challenges. Many parents report experiencing personal growth, as they have become more understanding, compassionate, and patient as they learn to support their child’s unique needs. In some cases, parents even find that their marital relationships improve as they work together to navigate this journey, enhancing their communication and sense of teamwork. Parenting a child who experiences a special educational need can also bring deep satisfaction.

Focusing on your child’s strengths, rather than the challenges they experience, can make a significant difference. When parents focus too much on what their child may not be able to do or achieve, it can increase feelings of frustration and sadness, which can impact the well-being of both the parent and the child. Instead, parents are encouraged to recognize their child’s abilities, nurture their strengths, and continue to foster their development. Every child has potential, and by focusing on what they can do, families can create an environment that promotes growth, joy, and strong, positive connections.

Thus, raising a child who experiences special educational needs is a journey that presents with both challenges and opportunities. By embracing their child’s strengths and seeking support when needed, parents can foster resilience, both for themselves and their child and help each child thrive in their own unique way.

If your child has been diagnosed with a special educational need and you would like support as you navigate this journey, please do not hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to walk this path alone.